Re-Invention

In response to:Is this it?

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 17:23:48 +0100

"I'll write more soon if anyone is interested in the ramblings of a 50 something woman in love!"

Please do!

Polly
[a 50 something woman in love who rambles!]
xx

In response to:The big question - do we or don't we?

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 18:49:59 +0100

I know what you mean. When my lover and I actually met we dared not kiss because we knew it would be 'dangerous'. We went from not touching, but the air sizzling to booking a room, because we felt a kiss to us would be as big a commitment as any sexual act we could imagine.

In response to:The big question - do we or don't we?

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 18:26:56 +0100

Virgin/whore/madonna - exactly!

I don't know if you remember your first kiss with a new boyfriend when you were at school - the thrill, the expectation. Well, it is just as good in your 50's. Yay!

It's like getting away totally from virgin/whore/madonna and becoming just, I don't know, me.

Yes, very complicated. I don't pretend to have any answers.

In response to:The big question - do we or don't we?

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 18:02:25 +0100

it is complicated isn't it? I think your thought "We both wanted to, but in retrospect, maybe I didn't want to as much as I thought" is particularly interesting.
What I was trying to say is that I personally don't like my sexual responses to be controlled by twisted virgin/whore/madonna ideas and trying to prove that I'm 'nice' - but of course we don't operate in a vacuum and hard to know what is a genuine response sometimes.

In response to:The hanky panky on a week night

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 09:32:56 +0100

Thanks for your thoughts P. I'm not sure i'd call it dishonest to refrain from sex even when you both want to. Well, in a way it is. But the greater goal of forging a good relationship means that sex could have a chance to become part of a loving process. I don't know whether that's right. This is just spinning around in my head at the moment and I'll think out loud in my blog.

In response to:The hanky panky on a week night

Sun, 12 Nov 2006 01:24:26 +0100

Wow! That's quite complicated! While leaping into physical too soon may have negative consequences, saying no, when you both want to do so, seems dishonest and manipulative. I guess if a man despises you for being eager to have sex with him, he didn't deserve you in the first place - Not that that helps! :>>
When I was single I had men in cyber and on phone blowing hot and cold and disappearing for no apparent reason.
Good luck with everything.
P
xx

In response to:Getting better all the time

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 00:35:53 +0200

p.s. great about job and general upturn!

In response to:Getting better all the time

Sat, 21 Oct 2006 00:35:13 +0200

"But why didn't he text me earlier?"
Good question...
Decide what you want and go for it...
P
xxx

In response to:Still not dressed

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 16:16:09 +0200

Wow!!! You're having FUN! So pleased for you. You were very tactful over J. I hate being nasty, so despite pain I find it easier being dumped than dumping.
I do hope things work out with work. Doesn't person on maternity leave have to state intention to return? Check out where you stand. If they employ you directly and you are working beyond job remit with money they save on agency fees you should be in good position to negotiate on wages. And if job ends you've got new and recent stuff for CV. Fingers crossed...

In response to:Downgrade Relationship to Short-Term

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 16:00:06 +0200

Just catching up... Well done for sticking to your guns and new mind-set. I shall read on....

In response to:First week of new life

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 20:55:02 +0200

I am so pleased for you :) Looking forward to your post.

In response to:First week of new life

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 20:44:22 +0200

I kept your thoughts in my head over the last 3 weeks and yes, it's starting to get easier. I'll write up my progress in a mo.

In response to:First week of new life

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 20:43:13 +0200

Oh, gawd, not ready to do REAL exercise yet! I live in the city and it's horrible to cycle too. Good idea though, I used to cycle quite a lot.

In response to:First week of new life

Fri, 06 Oct 2006 10:52:14 +0200

Can you cycle?

In response to:First week of new life

Sun, 24 Sep 2006 12:46:23 +0200

I noticed that getting as new job is tiring, I think it is because you try to put so much into it. Still my evening class starts on Tuesday night (Spanish) and I am doing 3 sessions a week at the gym. I am starting (after 8 weeks) to feel fitter and a bit less weary.
Good luck and keep us posted :)

In response to:Downgrade Relationship to Short-Term

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 22:20:04 +0200

Thanks for that. Piano tuning will wait until I've finished with J. I'm lucky cos Mother said she'd pay for it as my son will be using it.

The health issues are interesting if I take a dispassionate view about it all. I have a strain of HVP (or is it HPV?) virus like lots of women and they say that the strains I have could produce cervical cancer at some time. Which is why all women are screened.

I don't know if you recall, on the news last week they were talking about inocculating 9 year old girls against the virus some time soon to prevent the cancers of the future.

In response to:Downgrade Relationship to Short-Term

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 19:27:31 +0200

Oh dear... At least they are onto your health issues, surely they will find a better solution?
Good luck with the job hunt, and hope the piano tuning can wait until you get your first paycheck...
x

In response to:Toilets and Urinals

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 12:08:48 +0200

Definitely art installations!! LOL!!

In response to:Toilets and Urinals

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 13:01:07 +0200

Looks great but i'd worry about hygiene - is it for real or art installation?

In response to:Toilets and Urinals

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 23:32:44 +0200

LOL

In response to:Leading to decisions

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 23:03:44 +0200

Yes, I have some more interesting pics too, take a look at my profile pictures. I'll work out how to post the others tomorrow.

In response to:Leading to decisions

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 22:56:25 +0200

What an intriguing new pic!

In response to:Leading to decisions

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 14:48:16 +0200

makes sense... And thanks for invitation.
Polly
xxx

In response to:Leading to decisions

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 12:41:15 +0200

Hi pollygarter. Good today, thanks. I have the weekend to myself and last night when J rang he apologised for stressing me out so much on the phone but I seemed to loose interest in what he was saying anyway. So I thought my turn to talk and I told him all the things I'd been doing that day, lots of enthusiasm, interesting things, and it left him flat too.

I think next time we meet up (without his children) we'll see whether we really are good for eachother.

In response to:Leading to decisions

Sat, 26 Aug 2006 12:37:24 +0200

Hi Sienna. Thanks for your comments. I started this just as an easy way to keep a diary and it turns out I get support too! Yes, the stuff I've had to put up with is wretched, it's been that way before too. I see the pattern now and I want to change it. I WILL change it!!!
xx

In response to:Leading to decisions

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 20:25:45 +0200

Just wondering how you were doing. Well done for asserting your needs.

In response to:Leading to decisions

Fri, 25 Aug 2006 18:57:57 +0200

I am glad you have found blogging- it is so useful for getting rid of negative emotions, and it's helped me loads! People on here are really supportive. Man, I can't imagine going through some of the stuff you have to put up with, all the best with the radiography. Also, relationship stuff can be tough (thank you for your comment! :) )- so stick with positive friends for support!
xxx

In response to:Am I being used?

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 17:54:22 +0200

Hi Lady,

Just been reading your blog. That's been quite a journey! An apparent soulmate after the emotional vacuum of your ex must have seemed so refreshing.
I appreciate that I only have your perspective on J, but there does seem to be a lot of evidence of utter selfishness and advantage taking.
As someone proud to use the 'f' word about herself I would be suspicious of any man who was threatened by it or found it unnecessary. If he is so decent that you do not need to use your feminism within your relationship - Great! - Hardly a problem.
I have been fortunate enough to have some lovely men as friends and lovers, but never felt feminism wasn't important because of that.
Like the postcard - I'll become a post-feminist when we get post-patriarchy!
Feminists can be needy, fluffy, silly, vulnerable, bawdy, right, wrong - All sorts!
Look afteryourself,
Polly
xx

In response to:Am I being used?

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 17:36:44 +0200

That's some great feedback from fatalattraction, pollygarter and adamantixx.

Thankyou thankyou thankyou.

In response to:Am I being used?

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 17:23:11 +0200

i think you're very convenient for him and that you make things too easy, if he doesn't want to get to know the 'real' you, including your past hang-ups and issues, then he just isn't good enough for you. he obviously has plenty of money but you shouldn't have to ask, he should want to make your life easier and happier. you deserve much better in a man.