A month has passed since I wrote. Yes, what a month. I hardly know where to start. Infact it seems odd to be writing. What do I say? B and I are going well? We spend as much time as we can together? That would be an understatement.
There are still some things to be got through...
Like he's really nervous about coming to my house. That's important to me though, and we've talked about it. Like meeting his friends. Meeting eachothers families. I'm not really ready for that. It's just so nice to be in our own little bubble. We had our first night together which was amazing. I didn't have to go home and we could spend the whole night chatting, hugging, touching. We hardly slept and paid for it the next day.
We can't have new years eve together cos he always has a gig on new years eve. He's not comfortable with me seeing him perform yet. Because his public side is so opposite to his private side.
Our backgrounds are very different. Doesn't worry me, but will it worry my family?
I tell you, there is nothing better in the world than being treated like a woman. With love. With respect. With protection and space when I want it. To be teased with such grace. To be sung to. To have a song written about me. To dress up and be appreciated. To dress to impress him rather than try to look good and still be ignored.
We text eachother all day and evening when we aren't together. Often romantic, sometimes sexy. Text sex is a bit cumbersome but possible. Good fun!
I still look for those nagging doubts. The ones I should have listened to with previous relationships. What are they here? Can I live with them? Well, he likes to look good and I catch him looking at himself in mirrors when we are out. That's really funny. Quite cute really. He loves attention I think and gets plenty as a performer. But with me he's hardly like that at all. What else? He loves his little dog. That's not a problem at all. She's devoted to him.
He's a couple of stone overweight. This is a problem as he had a heart attack about 8 years ago and our late nights and other antics recently brought on an angina attack. His diet is dreadful. Maybe he'll want to eat a bit better in time. Though if that's the way he wants to be I'll live with it. He's got a temper and that got him into trouble in the past. I think he keeps away from trouble now because of his health. When I look at my ex's latent temper and compare it with B's, there is a world of difference. My man does not have that kind of temper at all.
He says I analyse things too much and now I'm learning to go with my feelings more and analyse less.
Only time will tell.
I'll write more soon if anyone is interested in the ramblings of a 50 something woman in love!
