About Pollygarter's comment on whether to have sex if you both want to or to hold off for a time.

Take J. No longer dating him but I miss him even though he had far too much baggage for comfort. Maybe the most open and interesting sexual relationship I'll ever have. We were very compatible. He misses me too. We talk on the phone a couple of times a week. There was chemistry at first sight, thought it was more, but turned out not. I suppose I'd have stuck with him through the baggage if I'd have thought about it. Maybe I bailed out too soon. On the other hand I have a history of sticking too long with relationships that are one sided.

Take F. He called me up yesterday and he said I hadn't given him enough of a chance and we should get back together again. We talked more on the phone than we'd done in all the time we were seeing eachother. I probably didn't give the process enough of a chance, but I was just feeling uncomfortable with him.

We had sex on our first date and it wasn't great at all. We both wanted to, but in retrospect, maybe I didn't want to as much as I thought. Perhaps if we'd developed more of a relationship it would have been better. We'd have been communicating.

Now is a chance to try a different way.

B. and I met up last Sunday for a drink and he just made me feel really comfortable and happy. We saw eachother Tuesday evening and it feels like I've known him longer. Off to spend the day together today. I'd better turn off the computer and get ready! Just a peck on the cheek from him.

Chemistry. I can feel it growing inside me. Now that might just be a result of my own needs and desires. Or part of the relationship. I don't know at all.

In the background is T. We've had some interesting talks on line. Had thought about meeting but he backed down. We talked about chemistry and letting it run away with us prematurely. He'd had a couple of encounters he'd regretted. He may have been saying that without meaning it, but it's food for thought.